MAN FOUND DEAD IN PUBLIC RESTROOM
Apparently Another Killer MEM
Harrisburg County, Oct. 26 Hours after allegedly uploading the notorious SQWEEKMEM memory microchip, Stephen Bains, 26, is dead. Although the details of his death have yet to be verified by the county coroner, an eye witness, who asked to be left unnamed, came forth with an account of the gruesome tale.
"I was washing my hands at the sink, and I hear something dripping. I assume it's the plumbing, you know, plumbing's never so good in these places. I step back from the sink, you know, to reach for the paper towel, and next thing I know, I'm down on the ground. I slipped in this guy's blood."
Although the witness did not open the bathroom stall behind him, he states that "the place reeked, you know, I assumed it was just 'cause it was a public bathroom, you know how these places are. But now that I think about it I have no idea what that smell was."
A close friend of the victim reports that Mr. Bain had recently purchased the illegal and highly dangerous SQWEEKMEM, and had mentioned several times that morning that he was planning on taking it that day.
"I told him not to. But I guess he went ahead with it anyway. I feel responsible for this tragedy."
Local officials refused to comment at this time.