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I get up to search for them. To see if I can get what I don't have. It is to no avail. I want to cry and scream and hit myself for not doing something sooner. But it is too late. I look to the blackness for help. But I can only see my reflection. Our reflection. It is not only me but he and he, and we are we staring back at me. Right in front of me, we have become one, staring each other in the face. Rejoined at the place where I was before I had a sexuality and before I knew of my race. I am I, he is he, and we are we. Our histories have merged into one, the void, the nausea that I had been feeling is gone now. I can be happy now because I have what I once didn't. The lonliness, the self-hatred are all lifted away in a moment of clarity. I am I, he is he, we are we.