Astor Place

I remember a couple of years ago, when K-Mart first opened in the city. Everyone was bitching: "the City has lost its edge." Well, what I want to know, is why is the damn place still in business if all of the freaks of the East Village are too cool to shop there. You see, where I come from is a different place. The K-Mart headquartes are just a bit from my hometown. I grew up on K-Mart, my parents own stock in it. It's great! I mean only in America does a store sell lingerie, frozen Cokes, and toilet bowl cleaner. So what if the suppositories next to a box of Coco Krispies somehow makes the Coco Krispies less appetizing; they're still cheaper than anywhere else in the City, and at the rate I'm making money in this damn town, I need all of the help I can get. Although I do find it really amusing to see couples wearing all leather and that are pierced in every place visible and other places, I'm sure, walking around K-Mart with a shopping cart full of condoms and a Martha Stewart Collection fleece throw blanket, not to mention the baby, who's already got it's lebrae pierced and is adorned in leather, strapped in the car and screaming because it wants candy. It's a long ways away from the permed raisins I'm used to seeing when I go to K-Mart back home.

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