Stan's Note: Here's a small list. The performer should just go crazy. The point of the statements are to be as boring as possible, and the further I got, the harder I failed at said task. Just suggestions…

"There is a lot of crime. I really should fight crime. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I'm hungry. I should eat some fruit perhaps. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I wish there were more stars out. I should turn out the lights. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I am bored. I should jack into MindFeed. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"My teeth hurt. I should see a dentist. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"My arm itches. I should scratch it. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I want to exercise. I should ride my bike. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I am short of breath. I should breathe deeper. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"The air is too hard to breathe. I should plant some trees. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"The wheel is boring. I should re-invent it. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"My ears are full of wax. I should go clean them. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I am sexually lonely. I should seek a mate. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I have no rhythm. I should learn to play the drums. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"My voice is hoarse. I should drink some tea. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"My hair is too long. I should get a haircut. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"My land is well-tended to. I should kill a serf. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I need to urinate. I should use a bathroom. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"My Livejournal is obsolete. I should update it. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I have no legacy. I should procreate. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"My clothes are too raggedy. I should learn to sew and patch them up. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I want a cotton plantation. I should grow cotton. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"Modern weaponry is such a drag. I should bring swords back into fashion. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I admire vampires. I should bite into someone's neck. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I can't fly. I should grow wings. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"My dentures are boring. I should invent glow-in-the-dark dentures. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I enjoy chess, but only as a hobbyist. I should become a chess Grandmaster. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket. I should meet Cake and ask him where he got his. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I think, therefore I am just sitting here.

"I want to wear a beret. I should write poetry. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I own six mice, four ferrets, three kittens and a poodle. I should buy an aquarium. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I want to be like Super Mario. I should attend plumbing school. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I want to appear more masculine. I should grow a mustache and work out for bigger muscles. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I don't know how to work a steam pump. I should build and operate steam pumps. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I think sunglasses are hip. I should blind myself. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I want to be rich. I should invent a religion and encourage celebrities to join it. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I want to make the greatest country in the world. I should draft an endless appeals process. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I want a sandwich. I should bring back slavery. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I want to be vilified. I should start a career in politics. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I want to be glorified. I should go on a hunger strike. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I feel that snails are underrepresented. I should fight for snail suffrage. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I have no claim to fame. I should breed prizewinning clams. But instead I'm just sitting here."

"I feel my competitive drive is not being utilized to its fullest. I should compete in full-contact origami. But instead I'm just sitting here."