A secret cavern deep beneath the tunnels underneath Wriston. 5:30AM

The ninja stand still, all intently focused on the geometric, metal box before them. Arrr Away does something that ninja code expressly forbids them to do, something which compromises their security, and they know and fear it. She is accessing WebCT within the ninja secret tunnel area, giving the pirates an opportunity to pinpoint their exact location. The ninja all know this, yet Arrr Away doesn’t seem to care. She knows that once they activate what they have before them, that won’t matter. Suddenly, the sides of the box fold themselves up into small origami strips, revealing another box inside. Arrr Away sighs and continues working. The ninja dare not leave without her permission, so they stand uncomfortably, watching her work.

Hours later, when she has not yet hacked through the protection of the second box, Arrr Away dismisses the other ninja and retires to her home, afraid that staying in this place too long will reveal the her position to the pirates. For days she works on cracking open the box, growing more and more frustrated with time. Finally, she calls in outside help to open the box, paying professional hackers to do her work for her. They succeed quickly, only to discourage her further with the discovery of yet another box. This cycle continues until many hours and thousands of McDollars later the last box drops away and reveals the prize within, what seems to be a WebCT node. The ninja, now exhausted and at her wits end, pops it into her forehead and enters the net.

She finds herself in a vast network of shifting figures which she does not understand at all. Knowing that she has come to control a powerful, networked cyborg, she tells it to destroy all technology that the pirates may use to their advantage.

The AI takes this message literally, and begins developing algorithms and predicting trends to determine what the pirates may use to their advantage. After a good deal of computing power, the AI determines that the pirates may in fact use anything to their advantage. The program quickly drafts a plan to destroy everything in the world in accordance to Arrr Away’s orders. Arrr Away has no conception of what she has done, and she goes to sleep in blissful ignorance of what she has done. The first nuclear missile strikes in Providence, RI, that same night, eradicating Arrr Away, the ninja, the pirates, and all of Brown University.

Twenty-Four hours later humanity has been scoured from the face of Earth.

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To Cyberspace Web! To Pirates!