I used to spend a lot of energy amassing the noises I made up in my head and in my mouth. These were the collections I kept. I had no stamps. I had no golden babushkas that fit inside other golden babushkas. Christmas, junior year of high school brought an 8-track recorder. After high school, a computer with a tiny microphone. I asked for a tape recorder for Christmas this year, and just got it for my birthday, but the most use it's likely to get is during an interview. I'll quote some mother fucker word for word. But I don't think I care much about cataloging anymore. I never put it to much use, and I don't believe there's anything in my vicinity that actually deserves to be preserved through severance and in captivity.

I feel most satisfied when I free associate. It's when I try to slow down and trace my development that I have difficulties. But I would still rather die than be diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It might be alright to just have it, as long as I wasn't reminded of it. If I couldn't wise up to it, I might keep a semblance of cool.

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