2 March 1994
I HATE LIFE!!!! Why do I have such a sucky childhood. I don't know who my real friends are, if I have any. Peter can go to hell, I hate Chris Ferrier, so many people are so fake. I don't think that I can trust anyone or talk to any of my so-called friends. Everyone is trying to run my life for me. I hate school and everything to do with it. I'm not going to play basketball next year because I hate it and I hate everyone on the team. Why should I do something just to please others or cause I'm scared of my father. I hate him for being such a power/control freak. If he only know that I missed that free throw at the end of the game against Tacoma High he'd fucking kill me. Yeah, it felt great to fuck up his dream of me following in his footsteps. Me playing fucking Elma high school. I am a total nothing who doesn't even know who he is or if he's even real. I'm so confused about life and I don't even know how or what to act like. I'm a certain way just because someone thinks I'm that way.