Divorce #1: "Darren, go fuck yourself. And while you're at it, fuck that miserable old man too."

[Wife #1 was a frank, independent, no bullshit kind of woman. Paradoxically, she became Grandpa Miller's personal nurse a week after the honeymoon. That is, after Grandpa Miller's second stroke. The marriage lasted a torturous thirteen and a half months. After the thirteenth month, Grandpa recovered fully -- or as fully as an eighty three year old man can -- and announced he would be moving in. Permanently.

Wife #1 now lives in an artist colony in New England somewhere, cashing in five grand checks every month. Not such a bad deal.]

Divorce #2: "Darren, I need my space."

[Wife #2 was something else. Darren gave her space. All the space she wanted. What she really wanted was Darren's money. She got what she wanted.]

Divorce #3: TBA