Follow Grandma

Marcello Sachs '10, English 65, The Cyborg Self, Brown University (Fall 2006)

You sharply turn into the left lane, and then proceed to turn left on the intersection while the light is just going from yellow to red.

You : "I'm hot on her trail"

TJ : "I guess this is entertaining."

You continue following her at somewhat of a safe distance. After a few confusing turns, she seems to be heading back to TJ's house.

TJ : "Dude, she probably just went for a spin, and now she's going home to catch a favorite show."

You : "Ya, that's it."

TJ's grandma continued beyond the entrance to their neighborhood. Ten minutes later you have followed her all the way to the mall.

You : "Perfect; we needed to go to the mall anyways"

TJ : "huh."

You both watch as TJ's grandma drives to the end of the parking lot. Seeing that she's looking for a parking spot, you and TJ direct your attention towards finding one yourselves. A minute later you both are parked relatively close to the entrance of the mall. Just as you are both about to turn around to spot out the grandma's parking spot, you both hear a loud crash.

Searching out the source of the boom, you both find it: a gold Saturn on the road just outside of the parking lot. You both peruse the entire parking lot for grandma's car, but it is not there; her car must be the one that crashed. Running over to the site of the crash, you both are extremely relieved to find her unharmed. It is truly a miracle.

After embracing her grandson and you, she pleads both of you to stay and bear witness to her innocence

TJ : "But Grandma, a few seconds beforehand you were at the other end of the parking lot."

Grandma : "Yes, I know dear, I know.

For a second we both accept this as a legitimate excuse. But then something dawns on us.

TJ : "But Grandma, why are you wearing a racing helmet?"

Sitting down on the curb, my head fell hard into the palms of my hands; we might be lying to the police in a few minutes. Never follow your friend's Grandma anywhere.


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Course Website cyborg Body & Self Literature

Last modified 31 December 2006