As author, I feel some kinship for my Nicolas. I root for him, I worry about his health (I make sure he gets to his psychiatrist appointments promptly.). He is my character, fished from some reservoir in my brain that I don't completely understand. When I place him in the web, he starts walking and I jog to keep up, and then he starts running and I chase, but he is cagey, elusive and eventually I lose him.